Sorry-Grateful

Not to quote Stephen Sondheim or anything, but these lines are resounding in my head:

You're sorry-grateful

Regretful-happy

Why look for answers

Where none occur…

March into April is always a reflective time of year for me – close enough to the end of our fiscal year that I can pretty much tell where we’re headed, yet far enough out that we can still affect the outcomes. Raise more, spend less… those are always my conundrums. How do I find more resources to support my terrific staff, yet at the same time staunch the flow of any expenses that seem optional at this point in time? This is a yearly Spring dance, made even more critical in the past few years by the relentless outside economic pressures.

You'll always be

What you always were

You're always wondering what might have been…

I’m starting to create forecasts for my FY 2012 budget, and trying to figure out how to put the pieces together. And I’m having déjà vu. Haven’t I been here before? It’s like trying to close a pair of pants that don’t quite fit – making the way I want to grow my agency (expanded program = increased expenses) fit the income I can see coming down the pike.

Everything's different

Nothing's changed

Only maybe slightly rearranged…

So why sorry-grateful?

Sorry that the dance is never-ending; that the age-old stress of making ends meet is magnified at so many levels in the not-for-profit world – in my own agency, a back-end provider of support to nonprofits; in the nonprofits themselves on the front lines; and in the individuals whose lives are touched & whose dignity is saved, through the work of those nonprofits.

Grateful that we have the work we do, that it does so much good, and that there’s an incredibly gifted and committed community of people doing it. And that we do have the resources to keep going, when so many don’t.

Rueful…yet blessed.