We behaved better today

The “halo-by-association” effect happened at Cause Effective today.

We asked a colleague to come to a meeting to help us shape a project that we knew we ought to be doing – but somehow we just couldn’t get ourselves started. The task isn’t important, what matters is that this was a project we knew how to do, from start to finish – in fact we knew about four different ways we could have completed it. But we hadn’t.

Well, I just sent this person a thank you that spoke about his “facilitation-from-behind” and his ability to “pose the questions and get out of the way” – but the fact is, we behaved much better for him than we do amongst ourselves.

The halo rubbed off – that behaving-better-for-strangers-than-for-familiars factor.

Now it’s not that we’re a back-biting crew; it’s that there’s the familiarity of the family, the Cause Effective family. We work hard, we know each other’s warts, we even know each other’s spouses (and kids’ problems with school). We’ll come through for each other in the trenches – but we don’t have to impress each other with our effectiveness at this point in the game.

Sound like your board?

There’s a reason for bringing a consultant into the mix, and it’s not just the expertise brought to bear. There’s that, sure, and there’s also the lure of an outside appraisal that can pick up something new – and then there’s the halo effect.

I once facilitated a retreat, and aside from the fact that it started two hours late (child care issues and then the board president circled the block for 45 minutes looking for parking, I kid you not) – the group behaved pretty well. We brainstormed who might be interested in the free medical counseling they were offering, and who could lead them out from their insular circle of contacts, and I was pretty happy with the ideas that were generated and the follow-up commitments that were made.

Well, in the debrief the following week, I was told that the board had behaved much better since I was there – that they didn’t dare act out like usually happened during board meetings – with a stranger in their midst. “Hmmm,” said I, “Then I’ll just have to keep going till they learn how effective – and how pleasant – paying attention to the task at hand can be.” And I did, till behaving well became a habit.

What’s the big take-away? Get the right tool for the right job. Sometimes bringing someone in from the outside can upset the equilibrium, in a good way.